Lyrics

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The Magic Of A Lunatic

You saw me cry, 
You saw me willing to die, 
You sucked the lifetime outta me. 
You saw me plead, 
You saw me need, 
You emptied me out and the last drop made me bleed. 
You smelled my soul, 
You felt my hole, 
The void inside that aches for rest. 
You took my mind, 
You made me so blind, 
Consumed the whole of me till there was nothing left. 

You want crazy? 
I’ll show you fucking crazy 
Because we all float down here. 
My limit’s been hit 
And I’m just warning you that 
My actions are about to be severe. 
You want a psycho? 
I’ll show you fucking psycho. 
I’ll make you lose your mind and question yourself; have you in tears. 
Because we all float down here. 

Today I snapped, 
I really cannot adapt. 
I’m too big to fit in this box. 
You really pushed, 
Fully ambushed me. 
I pulled myself apart like little building blocks. 
This time I’m done, 
You better run. 
You’re getting all me all at once. 
You say relax 
But I’m having panic attacks. 
I wanna rip my hair out; kick you in the cunt! 

All I wanna do is fold myself up. 
All I wanna do is fold myself up.

I smiled today, 
Everything was ok, 
I like when I control every piece of the dance. 
I feel alive 
When I make my own lies, 
Looking so ‘in’ that I’m lost in my trance. 
Further I fell, 
Was a beautiful hell, 
I started to believe I could altar the stars. 
I ate up the pain 
Like the flowers eat rain, 
It seeped into my joy; couldn’t tell them apart. 

‘And how do you like it?’ they said ‘We’ll take your dreams away’. 
Oh I don’t like it when they take my dreams away. 
How can you walk on water when they take your dreams away? 
I don’t want you to ever take my dreams away. 

I’m flying oceans alone, where are you? You said you’d wait for me. 
I’m holding onto a hope but fuck it, it’s not reality. 
It’s kinda hard to accept I been living in a fantasy land, 
But it was only a dream and now I have to wake up. 
It was only a dream and now I have to wake up. 
It was only a dream and now I have to wake up. 
It’s kinda hard to accept I been living in a fantasy land, 
But it was only a dream and now I have to wake up. 

Devil may care, 
While the devils run scared. 
I’m in the end times but the fuck if I’ll see. 
The earth is asleep; 
They’re not counting sheep, 
I’m exalted on a hill, they’re all counting me. 
Don’t tell me it’s smoke, 
On deception I’ll choke. 
Leave here all the mirrors, let me live a glass house. 
The more that I take, 
Will be the harder I break, 
It’s pretty in delusion so shut your mouth. 

I waited for one thing, 
Just something to give. 
Now I wait for nothing 
And why can’t I live? 
Hacked into my mind 
Like a trip I once made. 
You took all my thoughts 
But don’t take my dreams away. 
Don’t take my dreams away.

You’re wide awake 
Your head’s in space 
You want me to save you from catastrophe 
I’m just one cunt 
In a world of fun 
Why does everyone look to me to lead? 

I’m not a dog, 
I’m not your god, 
You can’t bully me to play a part. 
I’m not a dog, 
I’m not your god, 
You can’t bully me, you can’t 

Push 
Push me 
Push 
Don’t push me around 
Don’t push 
Push me 
Push 
Push me around 
Don’t push me around. 

I’m wide awake, 
I’m in a state, 
I can’t be all things to everyone. 
They expect so much, 
My soul and such. 
I just want the pressure off, leave me done. 

I’m not a dog, 
I’m not your god. 
I’m not a dog, 
I’m not your god. 
I’m not a dog, 
I’m not your god. 
You can’t bully me, 
You can’t push me around. 
You can’t push me around. 

My mind’s a blank because I’ve used it up. 
My fingers numb, nobody let to touch. 
My mouth is dry, nothing escapes my lips. 
My memory’s stuck on showing old sad clips. 
My heart it beats with a remissive drum. 
MY body, lazy, stays away from sun. 
My eyes they shut, nothing here left to see. 
I exist in theory but it’s barely me. 

You know I suffer but I’d rather be in space up there with the glitter people. 
A survivor, I’d rather leave this place and fly high with the glitter people. 

I’ve seen them dancing when the night time rise. 
I’ve always wondered where the port hole lies. 
I feel inhuman, I’m not meant to be here. 
The inhabitants thrive on fear. 
They want your money, every penny you’ve earned. 
They wan to own you, everything that you’ve learned. 
They give you freedom then they tell you what to think. 
They kill with poison that you happily drink. 

Does anyone else see these glitter people in the sky? 
I swear if you look up.. 
You can see all these glitter people.. 
Am I the only one that sees them?.. 
I just wanna go and fly with them.. 
I don’t really wanna be here, there’s nothing really here for me.. 
They look so pretty though ha.. 
Take me to outta space.. 

You know I suffer but I’d rather be in space up there with the glitter people. 
A survivor, I’d rather leave this place and fly high with the glitter people. 
Take me to outta space. 
Take me to outta space. 

I was laying in bed when a figure came over to me and put his hands on my neck. 
I couldn’t make out his face but I know I’ve seen him before in those days I forget. 
Struggling for breath as his hand grips tighter and he puts the other on my eyes. 
It’s like he’s pulling all the air out, bit by bit, and I’m frantic cos it took me by surprise. 
I need to go outside so I run and I’m carrying him on my front like a weight. 
I need to feel the breeze so I stand out back in the garden and I’m naked but I’m burning. 
Hate that he’s with me, 
Hate I’m not free, 
Hate I’m in panic 
And the demon is happy. 
Oh fuck off. 

There’s a mess inside my head and it’s right here where you left it. 
There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon. 
There’s a mess inside my head and it’s right here where you left it. 
There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon, Fuck you! 

I know what fear feels like cos I’ve felt is physically like a rush through my body. 
I know it always goes but I’m not thinking logically when the motherfucker’s on me. 
Every time I’m alive he comes back as though he wants me to die and he wants to be the one who does it. 
Cos when he shows me his eyes he’s showing me what hell looks like and I don’t wanna go back to the pit. 

I scream every time. 
Feel myself die every time. 
I’ve died almost every week. 
I don’t wanna die anymore. 
I wanna scream. 
I wanna sing my lungs out. 
I wanna be free. 
Don’t wanna panic anymore. 

There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon. 
There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon, Fuck you! 
There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon. 
There’s a mess inside my head where you left it Panic Demon, Fuck you!

I know a devil called Bob and he likes the weak and downtrodden. 
You’d better have a job cos he likes he 10% forgotten. 
If you’ve had a hard life, if you’ve been abused or you’;re out of rum 
You can summon the one who can take it all away or a small sum. 
Are you seeking freedom? Are you seeking God? 
Are you wrap in chains? Do you want forgiveness from the unholy one? 

I know a devil called Bob and I wanna know, I wanna know, how the fuck he sleeps at night. 

I’ve seen a devil for real and he calls himself the righteous. 
He nothing more than steals from those who are more stupid than us. 
You may not have a big car but the one you fight for has two. 
You may not see angels but the one that you honour, he do. 
You may not have any riches but you’ve got just enough 
To line that motherfucker’s pockets so he can tell you the blessed are poor, you are loved. 
We love you! 

Give him the desperate, his power it feeds. 
Give him the needy to fill all his needs. 
He looks at you cold cos he’s dead in the eyes. 
He’ll manipulate you and trick you with lies. 
And now his evil is in you. 
And now his evil is in you.

Today I saw all the clocks stop and I became insane 
And you’ve collected the audacity to lie to my face again. 
I laid my soul out on the floor and you just stepped on every bit. 
You picked it up and then you tossed it back at me like it wasn’t shit and that’s the truth of it. 

The way you fed me your words I really thought it was love. 
But I quickly learned that that lavish emotion, it wasn’t enough. 
The hardest times of your love be sure you’ll go through all alone. 
And if you care too much your heart is gonna turn to fucking stone and you’ll be alone anyway. 

I’m fucking broken, picking pieces up again. 
You want your pity party, I will not attend. 
You’re always sorry but I guess you’re never sorry enough. 
There’s no tomorrow sifting through all the debris. 
I really hate you cos you made me so weak. 
You’re always sorry but I guess you’re never sorry enough.

I’ve got myself outside. 
Do I look normal yet? 
The loneliness it rears 
Its fucking ugly head. 
I’ve got my life on backwards 
But I know how to fake. 
Despite my cloak of blackness 
I wear my happy face. 

Have you ever been so unsane that you wanna be someone else?

Too low to wanna be alone, too high for those to keep up. 
I’ve been at this party all my life and I just feel so stuck. 
It’s loneliness that’ll kill me; 
This empty, rickety swing. 
I’ve been waiting for a chance to soar but it’s just nothing. 

Life, you ripped out my heart and then you ate it. 
Why am I all alone sitting on the swings? 
Lie to myself I’m fine because I hate it. 
Cry because I know I’ve no control of things. 

It’s hard to be in the present when I don’t feel presently here, I’m wired.
My mind is racing through a million things and I just feel so tired. 
But I’d rather feel too much than feel nothing at all. 
I said I’d rather feel all this at once than be like you, above it all. 

If life is like swings, what are all these roundabouts?

They came into my home
Took me and all I own
Into their darkness
Into their filthy abyss
My friends all left in pain
I won’t see them again
I’m in this darkness
In this empty abyss

They grabbed me, they bagged me
They gasped at me trying to spring
They took me, they shook me
They laughed like I don’t mean a thing.
They crushed me, they hushed me
‘Just wave’ they said, ‘Do what you are told’
I’m lonely, ‘It’s only a while’
They said ‘In the cold’

They clamp down with their iron fists,
They stomp on my head and then they asked for a kiss
And I’m hopeless.
They don’t even know I’m alive.

They put me in a cage, I cannot get to you.

They used me, confused me,
They told me I wouldn’t get lost.
I’m just here to make them all feel like they are gods.
They toyed me, they destroyed me,
Threw me to pigs when they were done.
I’m choking on hoping
One day I will see the sun.

They left me to die in the hurricane,
They saved their own ass from the shame.
I’m here in a box, will I breathe again?
There’s no one to love me, there’s only the shame.
My spirit is broken, my heart’s weak.
I tried to cry out but I cannot speak.
I’m suffocating in the cage you built.
So you act like a hero to erase the blood you spilt.

They put me in a cage, I cannot get to you.
(It’s a blue cage, I’m suffocating)
They put me in a cage, I cannot get to you.
(Suffocating all ’cause of you)

This day is where I begin,
Today is my own sanctuary.
The sky has never been bright before,
Today it glows.
Mountains of green I can climb,
The trees so high, just purity.
My toes are gripping the grass,
On the brook water flows.
There’s a fresh air for miles,
It’s gonna be my day today.

This is my day
And I’m lost in it.
This is my place
And you can’t come in it.
This is my day
And I’m lost in it.
This is my place
And no you can’t come in it.

You always spoiled the fun,
You never used to sit beside me.
I’ve always wanted someone with me
To share the view.
The more life smacks me in the face
The more I realise I’m all I need.
Create a haven in my mind
And disappear all new.

Create a bubble around me
‘Cause I can’t let the bad in.
This is my haven to find peace,
Under the waters I spin.
The air is clear, I can breathe,
It’s like a new beginning.
The Velvet warmth of the only place I wanna be,
Le fin.

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Holding Hands With the Shadow Man

Wake up in the street and with your mouth stuck to the pavement, 
Taste of all you’ve done, it makes you sick but you haven’t learnt, 
Go to get a fix, I’m sure it’s best to be out of it some more. 
Fall inside the house and make a scene, commit an assault, 
Relay all the ways I fucked you up and how it’s my fault, 
Take your anger out on me and let me be the reason for your fall. 

It’s not me, it’s you. 

Do you like your drink more than you like me? 
Do you like your drink more than you like me? 
This little life you destroyed but you’re too drunk to even understand or to see, 
But I think you’re fucked cos you’re the one who’ll rot. 

Wake up as an old man with regret and none to hold you, 
Remember all the chances and how many times I told you, 
We had our little life once in a time, it didn’t even matter. 
I stood there like a fool, I let you tell me I was no one, 
No more will I let you blame me for your self destruction, 
Put your fight to rest and just get yourself better. 

Hey, 
Do you wanna come home and play and put the bottles away 
and be safe? 
Cos that poison don’t make you well and I know you so well 
like fire. 
When you go off, you burn, scorching me in turn, 
This dies. 
When your friends say the word you’re dropping both your loves like flies. 

Put it down, give it up, go to bed, 
All I wanted was for you to put me back in your head, 
I tried to get us back, start anew, 
But all the fucking suffering was never enough for you. 
Do you like your drink more than you like me?

 
I saw a pretty girl in wonderland last night and I cut off her head, 
I put her dress on and I went out dancing with a rabbit. 
I found a finger in my pocket this morning; no idea how it got there, 
I recollect a funny moment with a creature from another planet. 

Running into madness, in with both feet, 
I see them laughing but they don’t even know where I’ve been, 
Right down the rabbit hole, that’s where we’re gutter heroes. 
Desperately hiding a soul they might see, 
Act like they’re damaged; they don’t know a fucking thing, 
Right down the rabbit hole, that’s where we’re gutter heroes. 

I looked around and everyone was faking their ill so I spit them all out, 
I through the waste up and I took my life back; wasn’t hopeless. 
They’ll never understand the stab of real pain, never get the struggle at all, 
We fantasise just to survive and they’re dying while pretending to be fucked and loveless. 

I’ll take your pilled up, your lost and alone, 
I’ll take your wastes of space, I’ll take your “on your own”s, 
I’ll take your victims, I’ll take your dead, 
I’ll take anything before I take a word you said.

I used to grow old in my mind when I was only a child, 
So many deep thoughts at one time, my stress levels would go wild. 
And now I stand here an adult, I feel one thousand years old, 
It just gets worse as time goes on, some thing that you’re never told. 
And I don’t need a doctor anyway so fuck you. 

The only friends are in my head, that’s why they call me insane. 
I don’t need a doctor. 
Fuck you, I don’t need a doctor. 

I lock myself out of the world, the sound of your dull is like a quake, 
Nothing ever goes fast enough for me, I’m always the last one awake. 
I make friends with the voices in my head cos I know that the voice is my own, 
Least I know that when shit is getting bad that crazy voice takes me home, 
Wherever that is. 

Like an empty box with the lid on tight, 
I reside here in the night, lost inside my fucking mind. 
I’ve been too long here, I’ve lost my grip, 
Reality is a place I just don’t live, it’s best I keep myself hid. 
The only friends I have are in my head and I’m starting to see them.

I’ve been watching you from afar and I know you so well, 
We talk in whispers in the grip of the night, it’s a secret we can’t tell. 
You’ve got the eyes to see through the world over to my side, 
I’ve got your hand in the darkness and you can confide. 

They don’t know who we are, 
I’m not the devil they want me to be 
If you look up at the stars, 
You’ll see, little one, it’s just you and me. 
They don’t know what they do, 
They’ve built their house on the sand. 
But I always find you 
Holding hands with the Shadow Man. 

I’ve been holding years in my palm and I just can’t let go, 
They tried to burn me in the fire they set but I sustained in the snow. 
You’ve always got my words in your throat and my thoughts in your head 
if you need them at all, 
I’ve got your hand in the darkness and you’ll never fall. 

They keep on praying but they’re already dead, 
They keep on praying but they’re already dead to me, 
Even God’s on my side.

I wish I wasn’t a monster, something no one wants to be. 
Wish I was kind to myself, not constantly judging. 
I wish I didn’t hate my face, oh how I want it to be true, 
I wish I didn’t feel so bad because I’m desperate to be you. 

The same thing everyday; it’s me, I am what’s wrong, 
For I am a monster that lives inside the house. 
But nothing has changed and I’ve been waiting for so long, 
For I am a monster that lives inside the house. 

I wish I didn’t get chills whenever I catch myself smile, 
Wish I didn’t measure myself up to you knowing I’ll fall short every time. 

I can cry if I want; don’t you dry my eyes, 
It;s the only way I feel or get it out. 
I can run if I want; don’t you chase me down. 
It’s the only control I have of my life now.

Hello, oh dark one, my old friend, 
You just came back to play pretend. 
You’re just a memory by now, 
Don’t even know each other’s names or how to not be proud. 
Why must you keep up the charade? 
You’ll only piss on my parade. 
Who are you trying to impress? 
Both know you’ve come back just to point out all my mess. 

Why won’t you leave me alone, 
I smell your dogma’s breath on me, 
Why must you knock at my door, there is no room at the inn, 
Your mouth is full but your words are empty. 

I’ve stopped pretending to pretend, 
Your self righteousness has its end. 
Even the smiles you wear are fake, 
It sits cold on your face, you burn your witches at the stake. 
Manipulation’s all you know, 
Teamed with hysterics for the show. 
The ignorance spits out like bile, 
You have no one cos you put every poor bastard on trial. 

You wanna tell me I’m wrong, you’re strong, go on say it. 
It’s not enough to believe your own lies, 
You have to sell them to the masses, can you do it? 
It’s not enough to convince yourself, 
You can’t drink the Koolaid without the practice.

Heavy lies the crown, queen of the flies and pigs in shit, 
You’ve shown me just about all that you’re worth. 
Let’s weigh the coins on a scale, one to ten of shame 
and this little piggy had none. 
Mundane are the tricks you use to catch up all your prey, 
Have you got another soul to sell? 
The double talk is riveting, somewhat hypnotic 
and this little piggy went home. 

You’re rather fond of that snout you wear, 
You’re so prissy eyed when wanting your way. 
You’re rather fond of that snout you wear, 
You’re so pretty when you’re taking off the plate. 
Well aren’t you a greedy little pig. 

This little piggy went to market, 
Another little piggy took a shine. 
And that little piggy got all the new little piggy toys, 
Robbing this little piggy blind. 
You’re a little piggy on a holiday, 
Smile with your empty box in front of your smile. 
How do you sleep at night on your sheets made of gold? 
I’d rather be a poor man than a money whore, child. 

You little piggy went to market, 
You little piggy got tons. 
And while you’re being a little piggy cunt, 
This stupid one got none. 
You little piggy.

You’re not sick because you’re ill, 
You’re sick because you’re an asshole 
and it suits you. 
You’re not confused or diagnosed, 
You’re the lowest of the low, 
I don’t salute you. 

Drone, victim, waste. Cold hearted bitch. 
You’re as empty as my glass, a living work of shit. 

You wish you could be the same as me, 
You don’t even know my name. 

You go around with your damage stamp, 
You make us all seem trivial 
and I hate you. 
Your medicine’s made out of drone, 
Go crawl back to your fucking hole, 
I will break you. 

You wish you could be the same as me, 
You’ll never know my pain. 

You want a suckerpunch or you wanna suck on this? 

I feel a rush of disdain as you speak of your war, 
Some of us who are really suffering get ignored. 
You change the things you believe in every week like the news, 
You wanna be loved so you pretend that you were abused. 
You want abuse? I’ll give you all the scars that you need, 
You’re not special, no one moves the stars for me. 
You want a suckerpunch? You wanna suck on this, 
You play the victim but I play every way you wish.

Tic tac toe on my window pane, 
There’s a man in the garden with a voice like rain. 
It’s my birthday today and he’s brought me a cake, 
He said all my desires and fears are at stake. 

Have you seen my dreams at all? 
They’re impossible and over ten feet tall. 
I never thought of selling my soul 
because it’s too dirty to count at all. 

Make a wish he said, 
I wanna be unpopular, I wanna be strange. 
Make a wish he said, 
I wanna be a rockstar that people hate. 
Blow out the candles and wish for the best, 
It’s who you know, who you fuck and the rest is luck. 
Make a wish he said, 
I wanna be invincible but I don’t want to be like them. 

Knock knock, BOOM, as he burst right in, 
He didn’t have a brain and his heart was tin. 
But he shared all his tricks with me, how to succeed, 
He said pucker your lips and ingest the speed. 

Is he real, this man who offers me the hope of feeling tall? 
Can I escape into his eyes where I rise above them all? 
It’s not as though the ones who made it were all sane in mind, 
But I find with every break of my reality I’m so inclined to go by his sight.

You look so small right now; so vulnerable, 
Your legs are failing underneath you like the sea. 
Your body smells like dirt, your face is lost, 
You’re seeing double and your doe eyes are drawing me. 
I wanna kiss you better, I wanna fall a little, 
We’re in this 8mm, we were eachother like skin. 
I can’t say that we’ll be happy tomorrow 
but right now a great adventure begins. 

Fuck, what a time to be alive, 
If I’m not drowning in despair I’m all psyched up to start a great adventure with you. 
It’s like I don’t even care if it makes any sense, 
You’re so pretty when you’re high, high. 

I met you on a train; 
a man taking names was coming for us as we ran to the end of the world, 
I sat you next to me, I took your hand so weak, 
I told you if we’re gonna die then together we go. 
Tell me one of your stories, remind me you adore me, 
You’re my tunnel vision like a man in black, 
I can’t say that we’ll be here tomorrow 
but right now all I feel are the railway tracks. 

I met you on a train, 
A man was taking names. 
“I’m here” he said. 
I met you on a train; a man was taking names, 
You asked me for mine, I told you “you already know”. 
I’ve known you once before, a man in black, 
I want to black out on adventures with you.

Sometimes I wake up and I can’t even breathe,
Sense of frustration as I try to function with this disease.
Sometimes I hate you cos I’ve given so much,
Sometimes I’m crying on the inside cos it’s never enough.
Sometimes I feel like I should cancel the show,
Wonder the point of effort’s wasted and do you even know?
Sometimes I scream into my pillow so stressed,
I’ve done a million things with my day and you’re not even dressed.

When the light hit me this morning i thought I might die,
Don’t really feel like I can do this again, I just can’t fight.
I think I’m broken, I don’t work anymore.
I think I’m broken cos the hurt isn’t like before.
They think I’m joking when I come back for more.
I guess I must be broken cos I feel numb at the core.

Sometimes I space out hoping for things to change,
It’s like if if I hold my breath long enough it won’t be so strange,
Sometimes you push me till I snap just for fun,
It’s so you get to call me crazy and I’ve no leg to stand on.
I’ve a feeling you don’t like me at all,
You take the bits you need from me and then you wait for the fall.
Sometimes I wish I was somebody numb,
But then I’d be someone like you and that could never be done.

Why are you laughing at me? What is the joke?
How dare you disregard the words that I spoke.
Who do you think you are? You don’t even get
what I go through every day because of your shit.

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It All Stems From Childhood

Do your chores, go to school, child stay in line, Keep your thoughts to yourself and you’ll be just fine. Never shout, never once make your parents snap, Always seen, never heard, yeah just shut your trap. Opinions mean as much as nothing in this household, Sit at the table, eat your food and do as you’re told. Want in one hand, shit in the other, see what fills first, What if I told you nursery rhymes were written to pervert? Like I’m a little teapot, short and stout, Fuck shit up and then walk out! My shrink tells me I’m a nutjob, That I’m too crazy to play. It all stems from childhood, The grown ups made me this way. My innocence is so long dead, Ripped from my head in young days. It all stems from childhood, Rebellion was a phase (but how I’m broken now). Wipe your face, make up off, you look like a queer, No you don’t have a style, long as you live here. Stand up straight when you speak, child don’t you slack, Don’t you dare make that face, are you answering back? Your cries will get you all of nowhere in this damn home, Get used to your shadow cos you are all alone. Write in your diary all you want, they will read it, If there’s a God you’ll be away one day from this shit. Like I’m a little teapot, short and sick, When I grow up you can suck my dick! They can’t, they won’t, they don’t love you. They will, they must, only judge you. Stay out, stay quiet, stay in your room. Don’t whine, don’t shine, your time is soon. They can’t, they won’t, they don’t love you. They will, they must, only judge you. Stay out, stay quiet, stay in your room. They’ll never hear, they’ll never know, it’s they who made you broken inside!

I fit your picture of the one, Coerces children into wrong. Come kids, follow me like rats, Listen to your piper’s song. I am the boogeyman of lies, I am your demon in disguise. I’ll make you bad just like me, I gave that apple to Snow White. You wag your fingers at mine, You can’t be in the firing like. And I’m so easy to blame, I’m blunt as fuck and speak my mind. How ignorance is truly bliss, you kill your victims with a kiss. And you will never cry, Or see the truth you’ve always missed. See the truth you’ve always missed. And you’re not so good, I’m not so bad. What you think you had on me you never did. You spit my way, your heart is cold, You’ve got my face on voodoo dolls. Like I’m the devil himself, I’ll get inside and take your souls. I piss you off without a word, The time you give me is absurd. The sheeple need you back, Go back and tell them what you’ve heard. You need a scapegoat to survive, You’ve got no dreams, no drive. I’ve got my sights on success, Don’t need your hate to feel alive. Backstab me, it means one thing, You’re all behind me, let that sting. I wash my hands of you, It’s time to brush off everything. Time to brush off everything. You thought you’d win if you could break me, no. I’ll never cave so you can save me, oh no. Your cascade of lies has never phased me, no no no. The bullshit in your mind is crazy, no no no. And you’re just looking for the scapegoat. You’re just looking for the scapegoat, looking for the.

I haven’t slept for days, my mind is working like a whore. Here’s me on top of the world, I’m escalating for sure. Is my crazy showing? Oh God take my brain away. Left in the dark so long you;re bound to act up in the day (let the voices take me away). In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep a wink, Can’t stop, I can’t do nothing but think, I can’t shut the fuck up, I can;t breathe, The party’s never over, I can’t leave. I fly, this feeling’s making me dance, And I cry, this pain is like a romance, In my head I’m a god, I’m a star, But that’s the beautiful mania. In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star In my head I’m a god, oh my god I’m a star I live my life in the realms of only black and white (I never stop dwelling). Intoxicated by dreams, reality is trite (Can’t ever tell the real thing). The way I see truth is like a fucking circus. The speed I’m thinking it makes the people nervous. I’m holding today, tomorrow I’ll be hopeless. Just let me live in this lipstick mess. I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep a wink, Can’t stop, I can’t do nothing but think, I can’t shut the fuck up, I can;t breathe, The party’s never over, I can’t leave. I fly, this feeling’s making me dance, And I cry, this pain is like a romance, In my head I’m a god, I’m a star, But that’s the beautiful mania. In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my tortured head it’s wonderful When I lose my mind, not sane at all. Because here I find I’m beautiful, And I can feel I’ve won the war, My broken bones they just forget, Don’t worry where we’ve been, just let This manic state take over me, Hey Precious, look who you can be! In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star In my head I’m a god, I’m a star.

Oh Briony, I went to see what filled your head. What got you here; I felt your fear, I felt your dread. I saw you jump; I saw the way you stopped your pain. I wanted out; I thought about doing the same. Oh Briony, I got to see into the black. It was unkind; I couldn’t find my journey back. I guess I’m not as strong as you; I couldn’t bare. I’l wait for the train, your face again; save me a chair. I looked into the abyss and I almost fell, Evil clutching me under some sick spell. I saw hell in the flesh before I ever felt life. Stood on the edge of the world, I will never forget, The way my soul cried out; I wasn’t done yet. Had to see hell in the flesh before I ever felt life. I looked into the abyss and I almost fell in. I looked into the abyss and I almost fell in. I looked into the abyss and I almost fell in. I looked into the abyss and I almost fell in. They called it heresy; the acts you did, the way you flew But I called it victory and they’ll never take that away from you. I know the way you felt the day you dealt, I’ve been there too. And the shadows want me back but they’ll never have me back cos I’m new. Oh Briony.

Bad people, loud noise, getting head from ugly boys, Don’t care one bit. Black mirrors, white lines, telling you about my life, Talking such shit. Half naked out the bag, neckin’ drinks until I gag, Where have you been? Piss poor party whore, pissing up the back door, Never be clean. I’m seeing monkeys in space. Bad choices, drunk blind, make up running, I don’t mind, Where have you been? Falling out the window ledge, pretend we’re sick to have an edge, Reflexes so slow. Five finger discount, drugs are free, any amount, My medicine. Hell, heaven, purgatory, blurry vision, see all three, I’m going all in. Incredible sights I see tonight, I wanna hump something and I wanna fight. Such beautiful colours in the air, Spinning around with vomit in my hair. I got a cute girl holding me up, I can’t life my feet cos my shoes are stuck. If only the real world was this real, I’d stay one more night just to feel. I’m seeing monkeys, I’m seeing monkeys in space.

I want your body and you need me so much, The feel of pleasure in this place you can touch. Safe to assume that you’re going to be mine, Disgusting erotica when I drink you like wine. Come away, just us, lay with me, look to the sun. Passion so intense that violent sex is not enough. Looking for the one, looking for the one to love, In a circus of the depraved. Finding paradise, tasting it between your thighs. Baby is it you? Have you come to change my life? You could be the one, you could be the one I love, In a circus of the depraved. Felt your excitement and I’ve seen you so weak, And you get me so hard I forget how to speak. Communicate with you with only my tongue, I wanna be your maker, your only one. I’m going to waste, I’ve been so lonely, I know you’ve been lonely too. Your eyes they tell me that you want me, Let’s do what lovers do. Our pornography is so lovely, You own me and I own you. Kiss me like they do in movies, Be like I never knew.

I used to play with a boy; his name was death. He’d sneak up on me at night; I’d feel his breath. He’d tell me secrets about the world below. We’d dance, he’d fuck me and then he’d up and go. When I was young I believed that I was bad. I stayed up talking to myself just going mad. This boy was my only escape; my only friend. I’d put my lipstick on and let him drive me round the bend. So diabolical; the pain and pleasure of pretend. I can’t bare to look so don’t make me look. My nighttime pal he knows my sins so well I can’t bare to look so don’t make me look. No hope in hell of ever getting well. I wonder where did my mind go? Cos in my head I’m still twelve years old. I’m cold and I’m damaged, looking for the nighttime fix, Cos I’m tired and sick on my own. I wonder where did my mind go? Cos in my head I’m still twelve years old. I’m cold and I’m damaged, looking for the nighttime fix, Cos I’m tired and sick on my own. Twinkle twinkle little lie, You’re a bad kid, go to your room and cry. Bad kid, bad kid, say your prayers, He will get you unawares. Bad kids get what they deserve And you get much worse if you lose your nerve. I can’t bare to look so don;t make me look. I can’t bare to look so don;t make me look.

Disappointed again, I wonder why I awoke. A million things gone wrong before I’ve even spoke. Seems like I’m just too weak to even get myself up. Another day in hell, another lifetime stuck. Another, another, another bad dream. Except it, it’s truly a very real thing. I’m tired, I’m wired, I’m slowly falling. Defective perspective, no use in trying. Play that haunting melody while I dry my eyes. Fill my head for a moment with pretty lies. Life is shit and sometimes I can’t even fight. Overwhelming and so painful to get it right. So I look up to the sky, I feel dead inside and I see no future, I see no future. Tell me what’s it all for? Why should I play the part? Cos there’s a fucking hole in my fucking heart. My eyes have seen too much, my soul has grown too old. I’ve wandered round for a thousand seasons and I’m told I’m still going nowhere. So I look up to the sky, I feel dead inside and I see no future, I see no future. Play that haunting melody, that haunting melody, Fill my head for a moment. Life is shit, (life is shit), life is shit, (life is shit), Sometimes I can’t even fight, Overwhelming and so painful to get it right.

Come into my world of fuck, Let me show you how it’s done. Say the things out loud that they think Then you piss off everyone. They say I swear too much, Put on a bad display. Is it ok to be a cunt If I join your dick-suck soiree? It’s not that I don’t care, It’s that I really don’t. Everyday they wait for me to fold and it kills them that I won’t. You know you want my ass, That hatefuck on your mind. Let us get this out the way and I’ll bang you till your eyes go blind. (In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king.) I got a filthy whore mouth, you know you gotta hate me. I got a filthy whore mouth, you know you wanna fuck me. I got a filthy whore mouth. I keep my whiskey hand strong and my pimp hand stronger. I keep my whiskey hand strong and my pimp hand stronger. I keep my whiskey hand strong, I keep my whiskey hand strong, I keep my whiskey hand, I keep my whiskey hand strong and my pimp hand stronger. So keep your whiskey hand strong and your pimp hand stronger Crackheads!

Time is speeding up, the world is on fire! I’m like a kid in a rave, hyper desire. Mind is closing in, my thoughts are chaotic. My paranoid overtakes, helpless to stop it. I’m not making sense, I’m starting to spiral. The dragons are chasing me, a vicious cycle. Anxious, talking shit, no grip on what’s real. I’m running with the insane, easier to feel. There’s a crazy brewing inside my mind. Little ball of chaos, I was designed. There’s a crazy brewing inside my mind. Watching and waiting and hoping for the voices to stop, Can’t I just have five minutes peace in my head? Cycling and finding the answers to my questions are wrong, Adding one and one and making three instead. Sounds are slowing down, the waves are magnetic. I’m jumping round and round; hypomanic. Nothing’s fast enough, no one is hazy. I’m like a kid in a rave, normal is crazy. Something is looking at me, something from the back of my mind.

I saw you on the other side, I thought I saw you beckon me. You put your hand out and I thought what’s that about? I know I saw the other side, I know I saw you beckon me. You put your hand out and I thought what’s that about? So I’ll see you, see you on the other side.

I’m finding it hard to see with all these tears from my head, I’m finding it hard to breathe with my throat filled with lead. I can’t explain it enough; I’m done, I just feel wrecked all the time. I’m emotionally exhausted and I think I can see the other side. Never ever go to sleep but I keep waking up anyway, They used to call my name, now in the silence I stay. And you shouldn’t go round telling fucked up people you love them, Cos we’re loyal enough to believe motherfuckers and that’s just it. You shouldn’t go round, you shouldn’t go round, You shouldn’t go round the houses about it. Why did you let me believe it was real? WHY?! See you on the other side, See you on the other side. Where I can hide, Where they will never find me.